so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize