never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize