so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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