remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize