are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize