I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
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I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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