i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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