Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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