The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize