You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize