i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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