Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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