Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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