The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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