i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize