Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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