i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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