He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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