this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize