I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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