Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have fence marks all over my body
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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