sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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