This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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