When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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