im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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