those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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