I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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