this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize