She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize