They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize