She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize