shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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