i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We need to get me chipped asap
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize