I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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