these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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