I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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