Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sober January is a disaster.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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