my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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