those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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