ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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