you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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