An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize