I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize