Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my shit smells like andre
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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