What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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