Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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