What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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