why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize