You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize