I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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